You've seen it in the movies.
Year of Living Dangerously, Passage to India, The Killing Fields, Godfather 2 to name but a few.
The setting is somewhere far flung and tropical. The camera shows the streets. Sweltering and dusty. Then it cuts to the local people, huddled in their homes or on street corners. They look dangerously thin and obviously malnourished.
Then it cuts again. To an Embassy, a bar or hotel.
Waiters aside, it's full of over fed, very drunk white people. They're giving the waiters a hard time.
Then the film cuts again. The malnourished people are in frame once more. As the camera zooms in, it becomes obvious that there must be a famine or perhaps they are victims of war. Sometimes they are depicted as angry, sometimes they are shown to plotting.
It's every British Raj movie and a hundred other movies besides.
That was certainly my view of ex-pats before I came here.
I think that is the worldwide view of ex-pats.
Or at least those in developing nations.
Is the film depiction close to reality. Well, let's just say it's too close for comfort.
Am I guilty of it? Yes I am. I hope that my day job to a certain extent clears me of the worst of the blame but yes, I am guilty. It's the way of life of the ex-pat. I would guess that ex-pats drink more than the "folks back home". There isn't much else to do.
And without exception the people who bring you the drinks, and your food, and clean you house are local people. It can make you very very lazy. I'm trying not to make a judgement on this. The waiters, the chefs, the maids etc - they are all earning money and your custom pays their wages.
But even knowing this I feel uncomfortable. There are certainly places in town that I don't go because the movie version of ex-pats is there in abundance. But we are all guilty.
And I think the longer you stay the longer you get used to that idea. The first time I offered to wash up in an ex-pat house I shuddered when my host said: Leave it, the maid will do it in the morning. Now, I'm afraid, I leave the washing up for my maid.
I find myself worrying that I am running out of clean clothes when the maid isn't coming for two more days. Despite the fact that there is nothing to stop me washing the clothes myself.
Is this what you become? Am I destined to be the movie ex-pat villain, stuffing my face, sweating profusely and shouting at a befuddled waiter to be quicker with the drinks.
I hope not. But you can see it happening over time.
In the meantime I will console myself that at least I am not this guy. I actually read this article when I first arrived in Vietnam and I was horrified. I just Googled it now in order to include it.
5 Comments:
You don't have to worry, I don't think you're capable of ever becoming like Mr. Bicknell. But regarding the maids, chauffeurs, nannies, etc. that are indispensable to ex-pats, think of it this way: it is much, much better for these people to be working for Westerners than for the locals because they get paid more and are usually treated better. And while some ex-pats can be obnoxious and contemptuous towards the Vietnamese, remember that most Vietnamese think that «expats are losers who are coming to Vietnam cause they couldn't get a job in their own country». Not to mention of course the maid, the cook, the chauffeur, etc. which they wouldn't be able to afford at home.
I like your blog and admire KOTO.
The ex-pat post also interests me. It's not just Asia. It's the same in Africa. I don't think one ever gets over it completely. Ex-pats are always isolated because of their cultural background. One can never really "go native" because you have to be born there to be a native. However much empathy we may have, there always comes a time when we suddenly find ourselves outside, isolated in our own little cultural boxes. Sometimes we do it ourselves and other times the people around us exclude us.
I think it requires never-ending vigilance to avoid falling into the cliche ex-pat trap of too much booze, complaints about bad servants, etc., because it is so easy to fall. One is rich (relatively), powerful, one has options in one's life, one is generally treated with great respect, etc., and it is easy to begin to believe that one has those qualities as a result of some kind of intrinsic worth, that one is "better/more hard-working/more intelligent" than the people around one.
How to avoid it? Watch for the signs: drinking too much is one and as well as being a symptom, it exacerbates the problem since one becomes less sensitive and more overbearing the more one drinks. Drinking increases one's stupidity. Other signs are bad temper and sarcasm. It helps to avoid situations where ex-pats congregate. But ultimately it is a yoga of respect - one must consciously and unceasingly work at treating the people around oneself with respect. If they seem ignorant, foolish or venal it is really because we are lacking in understanding. It's not easy. We have to slow down,stop, listen and think before we respond.
Hi Hanoi Man,
I find your profound sense of guilt very confusing.
Certainly, providing employment for locals is a good thing. They earn a living and support their families.
I think there is only a problem when expats develop a colonialist mentality and treat Vietnamese poorly. But that problem is a problem of character. It is not intrinsically related to one's status as an expat, or having more money than someone else (so long as you earned that money honestly).
Your posts do not paint a picture of an "ugly expat" who spits on the locals, but rather someone who repects them and treats them like human beings. You have nothing to worry about, so let go of the guilt!
Best,
Azuzuru
Even if I could afford it at home I still wouldn't have someone doing my dirty dishes or cleaning up after me. Call it principle.
As you know through the good work you're doing with KOTO there are other ways to give something back to the local community.
A vast part of the expat community are guilty of living a life we haven't done anything to deserve. Doing a bit of laundry might just be a good reality check.
Reading about the luxury of being able to afford to keep a maid and living an expat's life .... but it is amusing to think that no one dares to look at the other face of the mirror. Or least have the courage to talk about it. We all want to be politically correct expats and behave as real life savers. But the equation also bears the fact that many of us expats are taken for a ride by emotionally exploitative maids. We smile when our expensive clothes are damaged by uncaring hands, we forgive when we waste precious time trying to show how things are to be handled by our stubborn, highly susceptible maids. We don't think we should complain because we are better off. But how many of us leave a comfortable life behind to morally and ethically serve the needy in developing countries ? we put up with bad hygiene, sanitation, pollution, noise, uncompromising cultural differences, horrendous traffic and road accidents risks, extreme climatic conditions, high cost of basic living goods in specialised shops, ripped at markets, shops, taxis, demanding maids over never ending rises and bonuses, extended absences, cheating maids with chores hastily and badly done, expensive local shopping lists, something or the other failing to work properly, endless amount of repairs to be done in the house, the list is as you see .......long ! So, let's be realistic and accept that we can make a sound only by clapping two hands together. No amount of tolerance, patience, philanthropy, good will, respect and genuine concern can cope with disdain from the locals when you are an expat. Should always be regarded as a money ladden tree to be ripped at the first occasion ? Common on, we are all humans and share the same feelings. A little respect, honesty, consideration goes a long way and makes life worth living wherever you are .....
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