What's going on

Firstly - I logged on today to find that there were 18 other users viewing my sight. That hasn't happened before and suggests a link from either a very well read site or publication. I checked the Guardian (wasn't them) and nothing showed up using the usual methods of checking - so, if you're here, and you're new in these parts, then how did you get here? You're more than welcome and glad to have you visit - but I'm just a little curious.

Secondly - apologies for no recent posts. The cable internet at my host home is not working. I could post as usual from an Internet coffee but I have lots of nice pics to share.

I have saved all my thoughts on Word for the time being so when I can post again there will be several days of catch-up reading if you can be bothered.

Will hopefully update everything tomorrow. By the sounds of it the internet providers here in Hanoi are a good deal more efficient that crappy BT back home.

Tinkering tailors. Soldiering on.

So, I’ve had my first experience of Vietnamese tailoring.

I must stress that I haven’t had the finished product back yet so I will have to see what the tailor comes up with. But so far it’s been far from plain sailing.

First off you have to choose the material you want. This all seems a little foreign to me. All in all very un-blokey. You walk along this street that specialises in material and you stroke, scrunch and caress the material till you think you’ve found the right one for your shirt, trousers or whatever.

Asking questions doesn’t really work.

“Is this cotton?”

“Yes, yes is cotton”

“Don’t you have any linen?”

“Yes, yes is linen”

“Not cotton then?”

“Yes, is cotton.”

Actually most of it seems to be polyester.

Anyway, it’s not great picking material for clothes you can muster no enthusiasm for. Namely chinos. Not something I would ever wear back home but still more fun than wearing a suit in this weather.

So, you track up and down the street and then you have to do the deal and they advise you on how much material for me. This seemed to consist of reminding me on a regular basis just how big I am. Yes, yes. Thank-you. I know.

Anyway, materials for three shirts and two pairs of trousers bought, I then precede to the tailors.

Lots of measuring ensues. Lots of raised eyebrows and shock at my size once more. Plus the embarrassment of having them measure you around your rapidly widening sweat patches.

So, I left agreeing to return in one week for my goods.

But then I get a phone call last night. There’s not enough material.

Before my ego takes yet another hammering, it’s explained to me that for the two pairs of trousers there are only 1.4m and 1.7m of material. The 1.4m isn’t enough.

But in both cases I had paid for 2.5m – way more than enough. I have been ripped off.

So I return to the tailors. And we go back to the shop I bought the material from. Upshot is I get a replacement but not before some money changes hands again.

Anyway, even with the extra expense for two pairs of trousers and three shirts I will end up paying around thirty quid for the lot. Not bad.

Still not sure it’s worth the effort.

Or the ever deepening dent in my ego.

As a postscript it’s worth remembering that if you ever want to visit Vietnam then leave your ego behind. On top of remarks about my size, you always get asked your age and why you’re not married. With the accompanying pitying looks.

Whole Vietnamese lessons have been devoted to answering the marriage question.

Finally I’ve leave you with another picture. I don’t know why but I sleep very soundly in Vietnam despite the cacophony of street hawkers and scooter horns. Maybe it’s all the fresh food. Perhaps I’m kept going at home with a mixture of E numbers, preservative and MSG.

Anyway, my sleep has been interrupted the last two nights by a noise in my room. At first I thought it was a fluttering moth. Then I followed my ears all the way over to the window sill. And there’s a hole there.

It appears to be woodworm. Except worms don’t make those size holes. They are large enough to fit a biro down. And listening to the noise again I realise it’s munching I can hear. If I tell my hosts will they think I’m getting all wussy over a sharing my room with my unexpected visitor?

If I don’t will they blame me when the whole house is riddled with holes from this intruder? Eventually I have bitten the bullet and pointed out the holes. They were grateful but not as surprised by them as I was.

In my absence this afternoon, they have sprayed poison into the holes. But what if that just makes it angry? I mean, what kind of beast makes holes like that?

What if it goes in search of a new home?

Maybe I should wear ear plugs tonight.

My visit to the diary room.

Our one-month In-Country Training has now reached the halfway mark and I must admit I’m flagging.

The two and a half hours of language lessons in the morning are not a pleasant ordeal for me. My problem seems to be simply retaining the information. Every new word learnt seems to knock a couple of old ones out of my head.

Today is a free afternoon but usually there is another lesson or lecture to fill this void. We have had a talk from an economics expert and more recently one on history and culture.

While both were absolutely incredibly fascinating, it means that the four of us spend our entire days together – including usually eating lunch and dinner together - plus any socialising we manage to fit in. We share the same house which is also the venue for our lessons.

Right now it’s all starting to feel a little bit Big Brother (the game show not the 1984 character). I keep expecting to hear a Mackem voice over announcing: “Day 14 in the Big Brother house, Steve is stammering and blushing in the Vietnamese lesson.

I’m dying to get out there and start work. I feel that my Vietnamese, awful as it is, will develop better when I have a little more independence. My lack of confidence in my skills means that currently I’m happy enough to let the more expert members of our group do the food ordering and organising – my Vietnamese remains largely untested.

However, small victories are always worth noting. I managed to buy and pay for (in correct change) five baguettes this morning. No English was uttered (I didn’t even use fingers for numbers). I told our landlady about this and she is now embarrassing me by telling everyone of my achievement. As yet I haven’t noticed anyone being impressed. But at least I was chuffed with myself.

I find these few minutes when I manage to slip away, really enjoyable. I can interact better with the locals and really take in my surroundings. There is always so much to see here. The little bits of old Vietnam makes me feel all romantic for what this country must have been like only 10 years ago. No scooters, only bikes - no congestion and few western clothes. The trouble is you can add “no food” into that equation too. Opening up to capitalism has saved Vietnam. It has caused problems too and it can also be argued that the old problems were largely caused by external pressures rather than communism itself.

Either way it seems that Vietnam had little choice but to give in to the concept of the free market.

Meanwhile, back in the Big Brother house – I am going to whizz into town on the back of a scooter and try Pho Bo at 13 Lo Duc as recommended by the Pieman.

The pictures in case you are wondering are of snake wine. Essentially a snake, or snakes, that have fermented in water. It’s rather nice actually – like a more potent version of sherry.

As you might be able to spot they also occasionally get carried away and chuck in all sorts. The vat in the picture had snakes, geckos and even a fully feathered black bird.

It all adds to the flavour.

Dragons and drama

As ever, in Vietnam a drama is never far away.

We finished our beautiful trip around Halong Bay with the police boarding our boat to investigate a theft from a German couple.

Just as they arrived, with body searches for all of us looking a real possibility, the captain stormed through the boat waving a trainer in one and a credit card in the other.

The missing card was found hidden under the sole of the shoe – it belonged to a young Vietnamese lad who was travelling alone. The missing money was soon also found on his person and, the thief aside, everyone returned home happy.

Then, on the way back, we passed a rather nasty looking scooter crash. A couple of miles later we caught up with the victim. He was being carried between two other men on another scooter. He was out cold and was suffering a bloody looking head wound.

An illustration, perhaps that while all around us Vietnam seems to be booming – such luxuries as ambulances are still some way off.

All in all it was a fraught end to a rather beautiful trip. It was my second cruise around Halong Bay. Last time I saw it in mysterious mist. This time there were brilliant blue skies.




The myth (there’s always a myth) says the bay was created by a dragon whose flailing tail gouged out the gaps between the mountains as he stormed down from the mountains.

A differing tale has the dragon spitting out the lumps into the sea as a barrier to the invading Chinese.




Whatever the real reason, and I think there might be an element of geology to it, I don’t think I have ever seen anywhere quite so beautiful. Taking a slow boat between the rocks is guaranteed to bring a dopey grin to even the biggest cynic’s face.

Halong Bay is just beautiful. From its turquoise water to his tree-capped rocks, it’s awesome. The trip is made all the more appealing when you get the chance to jump off the top of the three-storey boat and splashdown into the South China Sea.

After a couple of weeks of sweat and city smog the water feels fantastic.

I have a hunch I will return to Halong Bay a few times during my stay here. When you live in big, noisy, over-crowded Hanoi, you need a quiet place to slip away to occasionally.

I’ve even thought of spending Christmas Day out on the bay.




Anyway, the trip gave me a great chance to try out my new digital camera. I have no idea whether I bought wisely, or whether the price is good value. But (deep breath) it’s a Sony cyber-shot, 4.1 mega-pixel, mpeg movie VX, Smart Zoom, DSC-P73.

It’s small enough to carry comfortably and big enough not to lose. Oh and it’s in a fetching shade of blue.

Hope you like the pics.

Tha Nam Nessie

Okay so it's not exactly the Loch Ness monster. But for a bloke out on a stroll with his newly bought digital camera it's not a bad effort.

But what is it?

Well let me explain. Or rather here is what the Lonely Planet has to say.

"The Tortoises of Hoan Kiem Lake: Fact or Fiction

Astonisngly there are tortoises in the somewhat less than clear waters of Hoan Kiem Lake. Surfacing on rare occasions and bringing luck to anyone fortunate to see one, the Sword Lake Tortoise (Rafetus Leoli) is not just your common garden variety tortoise - it is a huge animal.

A speciman that died in 1968 weighed in at 250kg and was 2.10m long! It's preserved remains are on show in the Ngoc Son Temple Complex, together with a photo taken of a tortoise that appeared in the lake in 2000.

No one is sure how many there still are, or how they have survived in this urban setting.

Rumours abound. Are these really the lake-dwelling tortoise descendants of the golden tortoise of Le Loi? Or are they safegaurded in enclosed enclosures elsewhere and transported to the lake from time to time, where their occasional appearance is simply an orchestrated ploy to keep the legend of the lake alive?

Those ripples on the lake surface will never seem so innocent again."

So there you have it chapter and verse. To fill in a few gaps - Emperor Le Loi was given (by heaven apparently) a magical sword which he used to drive the Chinese out of Vietnam. Later, after the war, when boating, a giant golden tortoise grabbed the sword and disappeared into the depths of the lake.

Anyway, today I viewed the tortoise. I was just wandering by the lake taking pictures with my new camera and all of a sudden I noticed a bit of a commotion. I went over and watched a few bubbles rise. I had heard the legend but as far as I was aware the tortoises in the lake are all but myth. But seconds later one popped its head up and there it was. Cheers abounded.

Soon I was being taken by the arm by an old gent and a younger kid who were determined I would get my tortoise picture. For the next half hour I took countless pictures of bubbles, but not much more.

Eventually, after much persistance I got the pic you see above. And yes I feel very lucky indeed.

Electric Rice Cooker

Okay okay - while the cool kids of Hanoi fly around on motorbike sans helmet, VSO says I have to wear one. It's all to do with insurance you see. And unfortuantely motorbike taxi is the only method of transport my budget will allow.

So I got taken to buy a helmet and it's hard to pull a face when someone else is buying so I got this thing. I'm warming to it actually - although the locals think it is very funny.

Trouble is, just ten minute with it on and it's wringing wet inside. It's going to smell something awful before too long.

The street where we live

This is where we are currently enjoying the quiet life in the 'burbs of Hanoi.

Our residence is just behind that green leafyness on the right hand side. My own bedroom is on the sixth floor (the Vietnamese like to build thin and tall). The stairs are keeping me fit or at least taking the edge off my lack of fitness.

Not ideal though when, like today, you rush home with a slightly upset stomach and your bathroom is on the sixth floor.

Pho Vong

This is our local high street - caught in slightly less than manic mode. Normally you take your life into your own hands crossing the road - although it's nothing compared to central Hanoi.

All the way down the street on either side of the road are plenty of little street food places where you sit on foot high stools and consume food cooked up in seconds.

So far the Pho Bo (beef noodle soup) is my favourite - if you add a little squeezed lime and a spoonful of sliced chillis, it's nice and punchy.

Nam Gadgeys

The lake is the top venue for old people watching. Old people in Vietnam have a certain air of wisdom about them.

Anyway, I snapped these three today - just before the arrival of the tortoise. I took three in all and on this (the last one), they noticed me. However they seemed to enjoy the attention.

It's not quite sharp though - I'm having trouble getting used to my autofocus thing on the camera.

I'll get plenty of picture practice this weekend when we visit Halong Bay.

A taste of the west

Lunch today with the rest of the new volunteers. Lunch was, for a change, a chance to have something other than local food. I had pizza. I love the food over here but every so often every fibre of your being cries out for something from home.

The venue for lunch was Hoa Sua - a similar concept to KOTO and also trains and employs former street kids.

I call him Gordon

I must stop taking pictures of geckos - this must be one of several dozen already snapped.

Big smile

Our host and teacher in evening attire.

You've got to carry that load

Not the sharpest shot you'll ever see. But not bad considering I had just left the camera shop and sat at the edge of the lake before fishing my new purchase out of its box.

I hadn't even read the instructions at this point.

And in this case I like the fuzzyness.

Coming up from the streets

Yesterday as we were slurping pho ga the local chicken soup joint we were bid a cheery "Hallo" by a couple of local young lads. It turned out they both spoke very good Engish and wanted to know where we were staying, were we tourists, what did we think of Vietnam.

Both were extremely friendly with the older of the two a little bit cocky and he enjoyed joking with us. The younger one sat more quietly, chopsticking up his noodles and occasionaly smiling and nodding.

Soon we got to talking about what we were doing in town. We explained that we would be working here for two years. In turn they asked what we would be doing.

As the only non-teacher my post took a little more explaining. I started by asking if they knew KOTO. The quieter one looked up - while the older one broke into a broad grin. It transpired that young lad was a grduate of KOTO.

Even more amazing he had gone on from working at the Sofitel Metropole and had saved enough to buy his own restaurant which he was due to open in the next few weeks. An amazing story. Not quite rags to riches yet - but certainly rags to potential riches.

As ever when I deal with KOTO I was aamazed. Having dealt with so many regeneration bodies back home which get caught up in paperwork and bureacracy, KOTO is REALLY changing people's lives. The evidence of their success is within each and every graduate and there are hundreds of them.

My Vietnamese friend turned to me and suddenly, going very serious for a moment, told me that he was very thankful to KOTO and how much he wanted to thank every one who was involved. He also thanked me for coming over to help.

It was a nice moment, and further evidence, if it was needed of the wealth of good feeling out there that is aimed at KOTO.

In the meantime, this weekend is our first break since starting our in country training. We've booked a trip to Halong Bay where we will sleep on the boat. It sounds magical.

I need to sort out a way of publishing pictures on here. I also need to buy a digital camera.

Oh and other top news - I am now the proud owner of a motorbike helmet. The cheapest way around the city is on the back of a bike but VSO insists on the protection. The locals, of course, don't bother - they refer to them as "electric rice cookers".

(Tonal) Sounds of the Suburbs

Well - I write this from the office of our new host home - out in the 'burbs of Hanoi.

Here is also where I have my Vietnamese langauge lessons which resumed today. To my horror it is dawning on me that I'm stuck in a class with three language experts. Guess who gets to wear the dunce hat.

My three colleagues can each speak at least a second langauge.

If that's not bad enough, languages are my achilles heel. I am the world's worst linguist. Suddenly today I was transported back to French lessons as a 12 year old as I stammered and blushed my way through our two and a half hour lesson.

I need time outs. I need to be able to say "woooah" just occasionaly. Before I finish and comprehend exercise one, exercise two is already underway. After a while entire sentances crop up where I can't recognise, never mind translate, a single word.

And as I get more behind I get more flustered, less confident and subsequently even more usless. After a while I can't even pronounce the words never mind tell you what they mean. Everything starts to come out as an eyes-to-the-desk mumble. The shame is painful.

So what do I do? I've decied that all I can do is work extra hard in the evenings trying to catch up with each day's lesson. If things get much worse I may have to have a chat with VSO and see if there's a more remedial language group somewhere.

In the meantime this lovely house will be the roof over our head while we complete our one month of study. I have a nice room (up six flights of stairs). All in all very comfy indeed.

Luckily I also have air con and a desk - perfect for those late night cramming sessions.

And I'm not even going to attempt to bid you farwell in Vietnamese.

Cheers.

Seasons in the Sun

Autumn, according to the locally born VSO employee who has been showing us around, is Hanoi's most beautiful season.

He told us that of the many love songs written about Hanoi, they are all set against an autumnal city. I can well believe it.

As the summer ends I am starting to see what he means. The humidity is lifting, the skies are growing bluer and walking around is not only possible - it's a real treat. The title of this post is also prompted by the Terry Jacks song that seems strangely popular in these parts.

Apparently this lovely weather will now be with us until Christmas. Then in January and February it gets very cold. Perhaps not cold by Newcastle standards but for two months the population of Hanoi goes about its business with chattering teeth and shivering shoulders.

Part of the problem is that the houses here are not designed for cold weather. While the more affluent people have aircon - nobody has central heating. In fact, I'm told, that the houses - built as they are with stone or marble floors - are actually colder than outside. Even the British volunteers have reported spending their days working while huddled under duvets

Clothes are really starting to become an issue. Firstly I had the problem that a couple of hours was as much as a shirt could take before they needed replacing by something cleaner and dryer. In addition, lots of meet-and-greets in my first week has necessitated using all my smarter clothes. In all I'm going through a pack's worth of clothes in about three days.

I'm also learning that my smart clothes really aren't smart enough. Combat trousers and baggy shirts don't really cut it. Neither do sandals despite my investment in a rather smart pair of leather Birkenstocks.

The trouble is that accepted dress for men here is just the kind of clothes that I most dislike back home. It's what you might call trendy geography teacher wear. A typical acceptable outfit would be chinos, checky short-sleeve shirt and deck shoes. The sort of thing your exec wears on "dress down Friday".

This will all have to be made especially for me here. All in all not as flash as it sounds. There are clothes shops and tailors everywhere and getting made-to-measure clothes is still cheaper than off-the-peg back home. VSO has promised to give us tips on dealing with tailors - choosing fabric, bartering etc. Apparently the locals have a real habit of not believing their eyes when they take westerners' measurements and they knock a few inches off just to make sure.

Still - a couple of items of clothing I bought with me that were a little tight already fit me pefectly thanks to the rice-plan-diet.

Elswhere Vietnam continues to confuse and delight in equal measures. I am having to re-adjust my thinking on so many topics. Sweatshops for example. The locally held belief is that they are a good thing - the problem comes when staff work too long hours or are treated badly. The trouble is the insistence on long working hours is often driven by the employees themselves who are desperate for more cash.

I'll reserve judgement on this one for the time being. In a world of spin who knows what the real truth is - perhaps one day I can see for myself and make up my own mind.

Also puzzling is the whole Socialist Republic of Vietnam thing. Certainly one Vietnamese I spoke to couldn't resolve the fact that while I lived in a capitalist country and his was socialist - I got free healthcare and he did not. It's hard to see sometimes what the socialism applies to.

There is no doubting that on many levels this city, and indeed this country, is booming. Apparently land prices in Hanoi are more expensive, in parts, than London or Tokyo. I didn't believe this at first but have had it confirmed. This is staggering.

Even the change in the past two years is amazing. One of the biggest changes is actually how less fequently your are bothered by street hawkers. While it makes it easier and more pleasurable to walk around it's not as positive as it sounds. The kids had been rounded up, sent home or imprisoned. As ever the things aren't always what they seem.

Also liable to confuse you is the concept of "big face". It was explained to me that while someone has the latest scooter and the flashest mobile phone - they may still share a one room home with half a dozen others.

Vietnam seems to be a nation of extremes. There are still many millions out here that live on much less than a dollar a day, while there are others paying top dollar for city centre houses and Johnny Walker whiskey.

I will move into one such house tomorrow, albeit a little further out the centre. It's the house of our Vietnamese teacher whose wife works for an American NGO. It has six floors and as many bedrooms. Their little patio out the front has five scooters crammed on to it - one for each member of the family - three of which are studying in the USA.

My room is adjacent to the door to the roof garden and it absolutely lovely. I will also have half an hours free internet use a day which will be very welcome.

Today, however, is my first real day off since I arrived. The last couple of days we have had an employers' workshop and we've worked hard to try and set agendas and objectives for the coming two years. We also did a fundraising workshop. Although it didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know, it was a great chance to brainstorm and generate new ideas.

Work is still a month away and Vietnamese lessons start in earnest tomorrow. In the meantime I am having a tourist day and enjoying the lovely weather. I've had an iced coffee by the lake and lunch in the kind of place that I won't be able to afford once I'm living solely on VSO wages. Not that I am living it up but soon it will be more chicken noodle soup and less unhealthy western fayre from airconned cafes.

Will write again soon. But for family reading this the main thing you need to know is that I'm loving this right now. It is truly fascinating and I'm feeling very at home.

And even the Toon won.

PS Biggest smile of the week came when I visited the British Council - there behind front reception was a huge great picture of the Angel of the North. I was a proud man.

A little better all the time

I must admit that for a couple of days back there I was struggling. It was so much hotter than I remembered Vietnam being. The traffic and noise that sent me heading for the beach last time I was in Hanoi, started to get to me again.

Before I came out here people kept asking me if I was scared or nervous and truthfully it had never crossed my mind for a second. But suddenly the enormity of it all hit me and I realised that, unlike backpacking, you don't have the option of moving on at the drop of a hat.

But it's all getting so much better. Yesterday I spent the day with KOTO - meeting the staff and the kids. I must admit it was all very humbling. On hearing some of the success stories, a lump formed in my throat and for a while I didn't trust myself to speak without my voice cracking.

Boss man Mr Jimmy told me what was expected of me - he had liked the ideas that I had already provided and he was keen to have me on board. That counted for a lot. He also said that I would be travelling as part of my role - throughout Vietnam and perhaps into Cambodia too. Maybe even a quick trip to Australia.

At one point I was also left at the mercy of the local female translation staff. The first question was my age. The second was - am I married? Followed by pitying looks when I said I was not. Later questions got more personal including how much do I weigh? They also informed me that British men drink far too much and that men in general lie and are lazy. They are only suitable to be politicans they told me.

But I think I clicked with them. Another side note - people keep describing me as "very healthy" - I am slowly realising that this is a euphemism for being generally lardy. Although again this is a sign of both health and wealth over here so it's not entirealy negative.

Anyway, yesterday culminated with me taking the street kids swimming. Strangely their current swimming teacher is scared of water so I think this might become a permanent job.

Typically after being sweltering all week and dying for a swim, yesterday's trip to the pool conincided with a torrential downpour. I was actually cold but it was fantastic. Ever since then the weather has been perfect. Warm enough for shirt sleeves - cool enough to avoid sweating. The autumn, I think, is going to be beautiful.

As ever Vietnam continues to tend towards the bizarre. I spent yesterday evening in a small karaoke booth with five others. Totally sober and belting out Beatles classics in between slurps of noodle soup.

Other info I haven't put down here was the couple of days spent with delegates from across South East Asia who have been attending a disability conference. We did our duty helping them on and off buses and up flights of stairs in unsuitable venues. I also had to commentate on the opening ceremony of a local school for the deaf and blind to a blind Indonesian lady.

So things are good now. The weather has cooled, my job seems very inspiring and very worthwhile and KOTO is going to be hardwork but great fun. I'm also starting to eat with the locals a bit more. I just paid around 30p for lunch. Sat hunched up on a little stool in a market eating noodles, tofu and fish sauce.

Still gutted about Souness of course but what can you do?

Oh and Vietnamese lessons started today and threatens to be very slow going.

Anyway, there's more offical stuff to get through this afternoon. So will catch you later.

PS - After lots more Godawful Asian pop the sound system in the internet cafe has just started to play Pink Floyd's "I wish you were here". Very appropriate.

PPS - Population of my room - me, one cockroach, one geckoand one pesky mozzie that is eating me alive.

Super Sunday

Okay okay - just got the terrible news that Souness is the new Toon manager. Christ - how to wreck an otherwise perfectly pleasant day.

Anyway - forget the Toon and their new narky boss. What are they thinking of?

Back to football of a more grass roots nature. I turned up bright an early on Sunday morning at the local football ground to watch the street kids' footie team play. As it turned out they weren't just KOTO kids - the turnout seemed to be made up of kids on all sorts of programmes and others who just came along for the match.

It appeared to be about 14 or 15-a-side with the ages ranging from around 6 to 16. Some were in barefeet, others were in flipflops while a few had managed to find trainers from somewhere.

The game appeared to follow a pretty kick and rush format with the smaller kids bouncing off the large ones. While it may have been absolutely stifling heat there was none of this continental foot on the ball, slow it down nonsense. It was all 100mph.

Before full time one of the kids had retired sick. He was pointing to his stomach and his mouth. It turns out one of his teeth had a bad infection which was making him ill - although somehow he had stil managed to play two thirds of a game. One of the volunteers promised to get it sorted and a trip to a doctors and dentist was planned.

The kids also received a yoghurt at full time which the younger ones managed to get all over their faces.

As part of the games the kids also got a bit of training on the spot. I guess the aim is to mix the fun stuff with the learning. It started with vaguely sport related info like - make sure you drink lots of water now that you have finished playing. And it moved on to if you do ever feel sick then make sure your employer knows - don't just not turn up. And using the tooth decay kid as an example the importance of dental hygiene was preached and backed up with some handouts of toothbrushes and paste.

I was introduced too. My footballing allegiance was also mentioned and it was heartening to find out they hadn't forgotten who Newcastle were altogether. Although I am sure Souness will manage to remedy this.

Just a quick word about the heat again. It's starting to feel like I have to spend every waking hour drinking water just in order to beat dehydration. At the footy, despite not really moving from a shady spot behind the goal I was dripping. I noticed to my horror at one point that I had sweat patches on both ankles. That's a first. I suppose the sweat was running down my legs and collecting in little reservoirs at my feet. I was convinced that at some point one of the kids would point it out and I would be giggled at and ridiculed by all 30 of them.

I will get used to the heat. People keep telling me how cold the winters are too but right now it sounds like heaven.

Anyway, I spent the rest of Sunday morning hanging out at KOTO and once more met up with boss man Jimmy. The food looked fantastic and I was sorry I had eaten before football. I shall have to make a trip there soon.

Graeme Souness though I ask you.

Know One Teach One

It's nice rediscovering Vietnam. There are lots of little details that I had forgotten.

Like the way little kids shout out "HALLO!" when you pass them in the streets. Then there's the smell. All of Vietnam smells the same but it's hard to work out exactly what it is. I think its a pungent mix of rice, fish sauce, fruit and a hint of sewage. All in all not as unpleasant as it sounds.

But the smell doesn't just invade your nostrils it sticks to you. The heat and humidity makes the air just like a blanket and mixed with the city pollution you feel like you can almost scrape it off your face.

I remembered the heat - but not the type of heat. While it doesn't feel as hot as you'd experience on a Spanish holiday, the second you walk more than ten yards you just drip with sweat. After every ten minutes of activity you feel like you need some quality air con time - or at the very least a fan trained on you from a couple of feet away. As I type this I have two on me - and the sweat is still trickling down my back.

Everyone here remains so eager to please. I have said hello to the hotel owner half a dozen times already today. It's like he loiters just around corners so he can exchange smiles and "HALLOS!" when I least expect it.

Last night was lovely. I ws invited to meet my new colleagues at KOTO. We ate fantastic local food - tofu, chicken and noodles, caramlised fish etc - and saw off a few Tiger beers too. it was all very friendly and the get together was for my benefit alongside another member of staff who is leaving.

Top exciting news - I've been asked to help out with the KOTO football team which is made up of street kids. So tomorrow, bright and early I will be frying in a Vietnamese field while a bunch of kids kick a ball around. All in all a perfect antidote to watching the spoilt superstars of Newcastle United.

Maybe I can set up a Vietnamese scouting network for the Toon.

So, it's all pretty amazing right now. I think the secret to Hanoi living will be discovering a few quiet places where I can recharge my batteries. There is a local saltwater pool which will be a nice place to hang out. However, I have to admit that while Hanoi is as hundred-miles-an-hour as ever, it's less stressful than I recall it being.

We've had freetime up to 4pm this evening. Then we're going on a walking tour and will hopefully go for drinks with other volunteers later.

In the meantime I will stroll back to my hotel and take a siesta. The aim being to cool off with the aircon than to actually get some sleep.

Our Man is in Hanoi - and he's an uncle

How's this for a special day? I say goodbye to the family on Wednesday and by the time I arrive in Hanoi I'm an Uncle and our ranks have swelled by one. A big smiley Vietnamese hello to young Rebecca Louise. And congratulations to big sis and the proud father.

This will just be a short post. Just wanted to say I've arrived. I'm sat here typing on keys where the letters have worn off and my senses are being assaulted by Asian pop. Oh and the sweat is dripping of my forehead. Marvelous.

I'm stopping in a basic but canny hotel.

Just walked through entire streets dedicated to the delights of flowers, tailoring etc etc. The place seems to have more money than when I left it last. But it's lost non of it's soul.

It's all just starting to sink in and a tired but dopey grin is starting to emerge.

Empty Rooms

I am writing this on the laptop which is sat on my knee. Me, the laptop and a lilo and duvet are the only items left in the house.

Actually that is wishful thinking. There's still crap everywhere. Nothing of any real substance, just crap. CDs without boxes, lamps that don't work, lots of leads for long-since packed hardware.

But in essence - anything of any real use or comfort is gone.

One of my chores this evening involved putting piles of old photos into boxes. There's a job to make anyone nostalgic. It added to the general feeling of goodbyes that has only just started to dawn on me. Everytime I pass a landmark I remind myself it'll be the last time I see it for two years. The bloke who always picks me up for Noda Taxis has wished me good luck. So has the lady in the launderette.

I owe a few thank-yous at this point. To the lads and lasses who gave me such a great send off at The Cluny on Saturday and most of all to Doug who has given up his last weekend on his teacher's holiday to help me clear the house. Doug you're a superstar - I guess I could have done it without you - but Christ knows how.

Tomorrow, after the last of my house-related chores are complete, my Mam is picking me up and the family are going to spend an evening together. It's a time of great excitment and upheavel for all of us right now. My sister is due to give birth any day now - her first child and my parents' first grandchild. Shola, as I have taken to calling the child, is likely to be born in my absence. I will be glued to the net for the first few days waiting for news and pictures. Meanwhile, my younger sister is starting a new career as a teacher. And, of course, I'm off to Nam.

Another thank-you, for all their support goes to my family and my gran. They've consistently been nothing but positive about the choices I make. As ever I am so proud of them all.

So, it's the start of something major for all of us. Even the Toon are getting in on the act with Sir Bobby departing. Just watch them appoint some managerial whizzkid who'll make sure it's non-stop silverware in my absence.

So, unless there is a last minute disaster, the next time I post will most likely be in Hanoi.

The computers will be slow, the internet cafe will be smokey as hell, my guts will probably be in turmoil and the heat will be hellish.

Excitement is building.