Mind your language

In an attempt to actually do something constructive, rather than just sit around the house putting off urgent chores, I turned to the language section of the Lonely Planet guide.

Hmmm...it all looks very complicated.

For example the tonal thing. The LP states:

There are six tones in spoken Vietnamese. Thus, every syllabel in Vietnamese can be pronounced six different ways. For example, depending on the tones, the word "ma" can be understood as "phantom", "but", "mother", "rice seedling", "tomb", or "horse".

Okay. This is even worse than I thought. Those six words aren't even related to each other. What chance have I got of learning this? Reading further, the six tones seems to consist of: an even tone, a tone that starts low then goes up, a tone that starts high then goes down, a stone that starts very low and goes just a little higher, a tone that starts low then goes up but comes down again, and one that starts high then goes down but comes up again.

Hmm. This all makes French seem very easy and I was crap at that.

On the plus side nouns have neither masculine, feminine nor plural forms.

Most baffling of all in Lonely Planet is this bit:

Questions are asked in the negative, as with n'est-ce pas? in French. When the Vietnamese ask "Is it Ok?" they says "It's OK, isn't it?". The answer "no" means "Not OK, it isn't" which is a double negative form of "Yes, it's OK". The answer "yes", on the other hand means "yes, it isn't OK" or, as we would say in English, "no, it isn't OK". The result is that when negative questions ("It's not OK, is it?") are posed to Vietnamese, great confusions often ensures.

Hmmm end bit sounds a little harsh on the Vietnamese. Damn them for not being able to understand the difference between their language and ours when we force them to converse with us in English.

But the phrase "great confusion" I am sure will follow me through my attempts to speak the language. In terms of what I can do and what I can't do then it is the lanugage that concerns me more than my ability to fundraise effectively for KOTO.

Then again, having written myself off all these years as being hopeless at languages, if I was to master Vietnamese then I would be very very proud of myself.

Strike that - for "very proud" read irritatingly smug.

Losing it slightly

I'm just starting to get freaked by the whole going away thing.

Not freaked about Vietnam. Or freaked about the job I am going to do. Or being away from home or anything like that.

Just freaked that I'm off two weeks today and there is so much stuff that I need to sort out.

Most of it revolves around money. In other words I don't have any right now and I need it. When the housebuyer suggested he could pay for my house sharpish then I thought everything would be okay.

I could pay off the bills. Invest the rest - minus a bit of spends in travelers cheques. Then I could clear my overdraft. Finally I was going to buy all the clothes I need. I probably just about have enough t-shirts, shorts and the like but I need warm weather smart clothes. That means the kinds of clothes I just don't own. I only do either jeans (out of work) or suit (in work) - so what the hell do you wear when you have to work somewhere hot?

But the money is delayed and looks like it won't arrive until after I'm gone. So then what do I do? Okay I just about have enough, once the car is sold, and IF my clients pay their outstanding bills, to settle all debts, but that's about it.

Buying clothes over there isn't an option. Last time I was there I bought a t-shirt that was XXXXXXXL and it wasn't big enough. They don't cater for big blokes. What I can do, however, is get clothes made over there cheaply.

Really though I'm just panicking a little. I was due a panic. Mostly I take things in my stride and I reckon that even though deadlines are going to be tight panicking isn't going to help. And if there are circumstances beyond my control well then living with it is the only option.

I think part of the problem is that I'm going stir crazy. My flatmate has now moved out. Everyone seems to be away. Even when I send out multiple emails to mates requesting opinions on all things football, there's no response. Normally in these situations a single email can kickstart a days worth of banter. Where is everyone?

Okay then so this is the plan. Tomorrow my folks are coming over to help me cart some stuff over to their house. On Sunday I'm going to pick that stuff up and I'm taking it to (get this) a carboot sale. Not my normal thing but at least it will hopefully kill two birds with one stone - namely getting rid of some junk while putting a few quid in my back pocket.

Also tomorrow I'm going to ring around a couple of garages and see if they'll make me an offer on my car. Being without a car for the last two weeks will be a pain in the arse but I need the cash sooner rather than later.

Then next week various mates are coming over to pick up bits of furniture I said they could have. So far both double beds, the dining room table, the coffee table, a wardrobe and mircowave are spoken for.

I'll be sleeping on a blow up lilo for the last week or so but who cares. Right now the idea of an empty house seems absolutely fantastic. I can't wait to be possesionless.

Then again, however, there are some items - only a very few - that I can't seem to bring myelf to chuck out of give away. Bizarrely four of them are pictures - three of these were gifts and the other is a watercolour of crowds walking up to St James' Park. I know, I know, I'm sad.

Then there's my coffee grinder too which strangely I just don't want to give away. Also while I've given away the big telly on an extended loan, the smaller TV in my bedroom, I just don't want to part with.

I think what I am subconciously doing is squirreling away the very basics. What I need for when I come back so I can be independent as quickly as possible.

Of course the main items on the "keepers" list are my CDs. There is no way they are going. I was a bit iffy about books to but they can go. Once you've read books then what is the point of keeping them around?

So hopefully by early next week everything will look just a little bit clearer and I will feel better about everything. Right now it's late and I'm getting hassled by it all.

Basically though I need to stop being hassled and actually get something done about it all.

For the first six months of my post, my time will not be my own. I will be getting lessons daily and VSO and my employers will be dragging me here and there so that I can learn enough to be of use to them as quickly as possible.

Right now being told what to do and having no personal responsibility other than turning up and being attentive sounds fantastic.

Having just my $5 daily pay to think about seems like heaven too. No bills, no overdraft, no credit card, no back manager, no direct debits, no parking fines, no motorings costs.

Heaven. Heaven. Heaven

We just became volunteers

The Vietnamese gecko. Picture nicked from here.

As excitement builds towards my September 2nd departure I've been keeping up to date with fellow VSOers' weblogs.

I must admit I have been a little evangelical about the power of the blog while I've been away on VSO courses and there's a growing number of volunteers who are now keeping in touch with back home through an online diary.

The three VSO bloggers, that I know of, have all pretty much just landed in the countries where they will be working. For the uninitiated you don't just get straight down to work. There's usually a period of in-country training which includes learning a little language, some local culture and a bit of history too.

Nurse Jen has just landed in Mongolia. As much as I'm delighted to be going to somewhere as beautiful as Vietnam, living in such an unexplored, amazing wilderness would really appeal to me. I am a little jealous. Although the -40 winter temperatures would be a little too much for me to bear. I'd have to wear long sleeves.

Meanwhile Sarah is just settling into her training in Hanoi. Eventually she will be taking up a post teaching in a hill town in the North.

Finally Mel - is getting to grips with China and she's taken to blogging like a duck to water. It's a cracking read already.

So go over, and say Hi. You might want to introduce yourselves too - as they're probably only expecting comments from families and friends. Hope they don't mind me outing them to the weblog world at large.

In addition long-time blogger Gia has been on a trip to Hanoi the last few days. I'm not sure if I entirely agree with her views on the country, except to say that we both think it's just amazing. But she's always a cracking writer and her posts are always challenging. There's a superb little movie you can view of Hanoi too.

Also, there's this: I Love the Smell of Coffee in the Morning. Another new Hanoi blog. A man with his own cook. Very stylish. And I love the picture of the gecko. I had forgotten they were everywhere. Geckos eat mozzies. Geckos are your mates.

But they don't half freak you out when they run up your leg.

Talking the talk

There is something inherently cool about speaking a second language.

And I say this despite being a master of only one.

To be honest I can't even get my head around being fluent in any language but my own. How exactly does it work? At what point do you stop translating everything in your head? Surely even the best linguists have to translate first into their own language, then forumalate a response and then change that back into the language in question.

Don't they?

Or at what point does it become instinctive? When do you start to think in a foreign language? And how does that work? Do you think in a mix of languages? Do you keep certain languages for different thoughts? Will I be less intelligent, or expressive in a different language?

So far my language achievements boil down to this: I dropped French at 14. But even then I took it for four years and I can manage little more than asking directions or telling you that the pen of my aunt is in the garden.

I did a week's worth of Spanish in Guatemala. The idea was that afterwards I could manage rudimentary conversations and chat with the locals a bit. The reality was that I learnt how to ask for an ashtray, buy cigarettes and order chicken and rice. It helped but it wasn't really what I had in mind.

Every single continental European I met spoke absolutely fluent English. Not stuttering pigeon English - they knew it all. They could even be funny in another language. But it's stating the obvious to say that the English are terrible at languages. I used to sit with my Spanish tutor with my head in my hands. He would sit there prompting me with "you know this, you know this" and I'd be thinking that if I really did know this then why would I be sitting here looking so stupud.

I also lapsed into classroom ways very early. He would tell me there was a free session on in the evenings. I would ask if I had to go and he would respond that it wasn't compulsory. So I wouldn't go. I mean, I was paying for my day time lessons and I wanted to learn the language so why wouldn't I go? The thought of learning anything that I wasn't made to learn was still beyond me.

As part of my posting I shall be required to learn Vietnamese. The language - in full. Typically having failed to learn either Spanish or French I am now trying my hand at one of the hardest languages in the world. It's a tonal language you see - each word can have six different meanings depending on how you say it. Sounds like quite a challenge.

But just imagine if I do master it. Imagine being able to bark orders to taxi drivers when I meetmy parents at the airport. Imagine being able to make jokes with the waiters and cyclo drivers while they look on admiringly.

Imagine being able to put "Fluent Vietnamese" under skills on my CV.

Like I said, speaking another lanugage is very very cool. I just hope I'm up to it.

I think this will be my biggest challenge.

A team photo

Harborne Hall, Birmingham. 6/8/04

World gone mad

Well I'm back from training and my departure for Vietnam is just over three weeks away.

There is still so much to do. I won't finish client work for another couple of weeks. I have the house to clear, a million injections to have, and a thousand other forms still have to be filled in for VSO.

For someone as disorganised as me, it's a nightmare.

Still it'll all be worth it when I touch down in Hanoi and I make that journey from the airport to the city again. That's the bit I am really looking forward to. Just knowing that the adventure is beginning.

Travelling back from Birtmingham yesterday I got a brilliant bit of news. I had been encouraging Mum and Dad to visit me on my travels but so far the sticking point has been my Dad's knees.

A combination of his knackered knees and his height (six foot four) mean airline seats are hell and he can't sit in one place for too long. A long-haul flight looked out of the question.

But yesterday they rang me to ask how the course had gone and I could hear my Dad in the background telling my Mum to pass on some news. He sounded very excited. It appears that they are now planning to visit me a in October 2005. Dad has tracked down a Vietnam tour and he's going to book it for them both.

Not sure how they've got past the knee problem. But I'm so chuffed they're coming over. Not just because it'll be great to see them both but also I know they'll get so much out the trip. They've never holidayed outside of Europe before and I want to see the look on their faces when they get their first glimpse of Nam.

Anyway, I am off to Sunday lunch with them tomorrow so I can find out more about their plans.

I hope it all comes off. I'm looking forward to showing them around.

My Mum and Dad sharing a cyclo should be some sight.

I just want to be your...

So, apparently I am a teddy bear.

That was the verdict of an exercise we have just completed which measures how you react during negotiation. My general teddy bearness is apparently a reflection of my willingness to accommodate. Couple that with a slight level of turtleness (anything to avoid conflict) and it's quite clear that I'm not the toughest of cookies.

But everyone likes a teddy bear, right?

The course is progressing well. Twelve hours a day of lessons are tough for us all. You really do struggle at times and it is unavoidable that you will have sessions when you've realised that you've drifted off a little.

However, there is a real togetherness in the group now and a feeling that, perhaps for the first time, we are all keen to get out of the classroom and into our overseas placements.

The biggest catalyst for this was a session yesterday afternoon when we split into smaller groups and devised a presentation. The object was to find a way of making a decision based on our own scenarios. We were invited to use the tools we had learnt.

This would mirror how we would all teach in our posts and pass on our own skills to locals.

I adapted the tree diagram into something approximating a bowl of chicken noodle soup. My audience were invited to write down on post-it notes their own ideas for fundraising and they'd stick these on the bowl as ingredients. From there we also looked at who we would approach and what methods we would use to make contact.

I think, it went well. But then again, everyone here is so kind and gentle with you that it is difficult to be sure. Maybe they were just being nice. Whichever it was, I came out of the session with lots of good ideas as to how find cash for KOTO.

I had also had a real feeling of I CAN DO THIS. That was, to use a VSO word for a second, very empowering.

Tonight we have the luxury of an early finish. Six pm instead of eight. That means there's time to use up before we slope off to the bar. There's talk of a trip to a nearby bowling alley, or perhaps an Indian meal. Maybe I should use the time to visit the resource centre and find out more about my placement.

Anyway, tomorrow is the last day and so far it hasn't been to bad. I never cease to be amazed at just how lovely the VSO people are. You can feel the sense of readyness and excitement within the group rising day by day.

It's almost time to unleash the new VSOers into the world.

I hope the world is ready.

The Training

Well, I'm currently in Birmingham. Harborne Hall in the suburbs to be precise.

I'm here on a five day training course doing something called SKWID. No, it has nothing to do with seafood of any variety. It stands for (I think) Skills for Working in Development.

It's going to be a tough few days. I arrived here yesterday, after three and a half hours on the train. We had our first couple of hours works from seven till nine and I must admit I struggled.

A Monday following a weekend that included a birthday pu sessioand a wedding was always going to be tough. I think the weekend's high living combined with a nasty muggy day yesterday left me very dehydrated and I was suffering from a stinking headache.

All in all it meant that I wasn't able to take part in the after lessons bar session which is when people let their hair down and you get to learn a little bit about them. As always though with VSO everyone seems very nice.

There is the ususal mix of people. There's the white haired old ladies, the young teachers and nurses, and me - somewhere in the middle. Most people appear to be off to Africa. Me going to Vietnam and another older guy off to Cambodia are the only exceptions.

Other interesting occupations include a fruit tree cultivator, a bloke who manages wetlands and someone who works in the eco-tourist business.

There are also three Canadians which I didn't expect. VSO it appears is also active in Canada. There's a Dutch man too.

The lessons are tough for someone like me who has the attention span of a gnat. I find myself cursing anyone who asks a question or wants a point clarifying. There's plenty of role playing and the like, so you have to suspend your natural level of embarassment from time to time.

Apologies for no pictures on this post. The facilities are not conducive. It also reminds me that unless I get my own laptop to work, pictures will be out of the question in Vietnam too. But we shall see.

I've an hour before lessons start so I am going to check out the Library facilities here. Maybe they'll have some interesting reading on Hanoi.